VFXhack

So hey, I admit it. I post a lot about what’s wrong with VFX films today and give off a generally bitter (yet loving) vibe about the industry in general. So it may surprise you to hear that I got a chance to see Cloverfield this weekend and it was great. Sure you can nit-pick, but you gotta hand it to the Bad Robot crew for updating the classic “My God there’s a giant monster trashing the city!” flick and making it interesting and relevant to today’s audience. Kudos to you, nerds who thought up Cloverfield.

Moving on to something I can mock freely…The Asylum is a flimmaking outfit with a simple business plan. Wait for Hollywood to come out with an original movie and quickly, blantantly and mercilessly rip it off . The titles these folks come up with rival the porn industry in their hilarious ridiculosity. Here’s a taste; Snakes on a Train, Pirates of Treasure Island, Transmorphers and my personal fav Da Vinci Treasure. Monster is their latest rip-off of, you guessed it, Cloverfield. In fact, it’s just like Cloverfield except it takes place in Tokyo and the monster isn’t really a monster at all but a slimy, poorly rendered tentacle. Oh I almost forgot, there’s also another important distinction that needs to be made, Monster is a godawful mess of a movie.

To be fair I can’t believe these films are supposed to be good, and it sure is fun to laugh at the trailers. Just don’t try to sit through the entirety of one of these cinematic abortions. It’s much more fun to read the IMBD reviews and save you self a few precious hours of your life that you’ll never get back. Below are some of the more choice reviews for Da Vinci Treasure.

It is impossible to overstate just how bad this film is. Bad acting, scripting, location sets, horribly transparent cost-cutting (the Ford Econoline van with obviously U.S. plates in “Italy” was about the last straw, made worse by the pedestrian attempt to electronically blot out the plate after the van comes to a stop).

And how about

this is by far the most terrible movie i have seen, do yourself a favor and don’t watch it!

Finally, I think this one sums it up nicely

My comments are straight forward; I highly recommend no one watch this movie. If you want to waste your time you’d be better off putting a bullet in your head than watch this movie. I’ve never seen such a stupid, very badly acted and the worst script writing in my entire life.I’d rather watch puke drip down a wall than watch this movie ever again

LINK to the trailer for Monster

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 29th, 2008 at 3:08 am and is filed under 3d, funny, movies, vfx. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.